So, I caved in to the constant “shares” of TikTok videos and the family chatter (and when I say family I mean my daughter) and downloaded the TikTok app. Just what I need, yet another way to waste my time. I already spend an inordinate amount of my day checking my email, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts. Not to mention playing Words With Friends, checking the stock market, my Google feed, and of course this blog. So, sure I need another rabbit hole to go down and this rabbit hole might as well be powered by Elon Musk’s Boring Company, that’s how deep it goes. This is a time machine of the dark side, slipping us through a wormhole into an immediate future we can’t remember getting to. Hours pass in what seems moments. Maybe that’s why it’s called TikTok. The passing of time.
I was also hesitant to download TikTok because of it’s ties to China. It was viewed as a back door into our computer systems but when Oracle, Microsoft and Walmart were discussing buying and or investing in it, that sort of made it okay. What I’ve come to realize is that they, hell everybody, already knows everything anyway so what if They know I’m partial to screaming goat videos, Michael Jackson dance impressions, and lip syncing political banter, that’s hardly going to threaten my well being now is it? Besides, it’s fun.
So, this time I responded to a writing prompt that asked to use the word Absurd and be exactly 61 words. Excluding the title. It is truly an absurd poem but I’m kinda liking it. It was fun to write. Hope you agree. If not, Kvetch to me.
So, when I started this blog it was a way to vent, rant, and generally just uncork some of the everyday pressures I was feeling in 2020. Hopefully in an amusing way. That was the spark. It has since morphed into an outlet not only for that but also a venue for my other writings, poetry, self reflection, and a bit of fiction. I started this for me, yeah and for a select few I knew wouldn’t mind being subjected to my ramblings. Family members and close friends can only indulge while keeping their eye rolls hidden.
Anyway, I now find myself creeping closer to 100 followers and if you’re wondering why this piece is titled as it is, “par” is a term used in the financial world to mean 100, as when a stock gets to $100 per share. Since I truly enjoy “sharing” with you (see what I did there?), I’ve been racking my brain to come up with some kind of prize for my one hundredth follower. I very much appreciate all the support I’ve received and the salve it applies to my fragile ego and it would be a way to give back to you, my loyal readers, as well as a blatantly selfish land grab for more followers. I’m not above shameful promotion—-obviously.
So here it is. My 100th follower will win. . . drumroll please, the 2021 Kvetchie Award!!!! Ahhh, there’s really nothing tangible here, no statuette, no rolled up certificate, no plaque. Just the inner satisfaction and joy of knowing that you Mr or Ms 100 got me to this totally random and inconsequential milestone simply by chance. Also, if you’d like, I will Kvetch for you. Tell me what pisses you off and I will give words to your displeasure. Hey, we don’t have any kind of a budget here in The Void, ya know? This is the best I can do.
So, it occurs to me that chit chat and small talk have been supplanted by virus talk. The usual greetings of “Hi, how are you, how have you been, what have you been up to?” is now, “Have you gotten the vaccine, which one, did you have a reaction, when’s your second dose” and so on. Sports talk has given way to Shot talk. “Hey, how about those Pricks, some shot last night, huh?”
All of the sudden, everyone’s a bio technician, discussing MRNA vs regular vaccines, symptoms, and side effects. People are betting on whose vaccine will be the most effective like it’s the Kentucky Derby. “Here they come down the stretch, it’s Moderna in the lead, followed by Pfizer and Biontech side by side, Johnson and Johnson pulling up quickly and Astra Zeneca trailing by a length.”
If you’re not lucky enough to be an essential worker or just plain damn old, chances are you’re scurrying around looking for somewhere to get yours. “Pssst, buddy, wanna buy some vaccine? I got some really good shit here and, hey, don’t look around, look natural, be cool, I gotcha. Now look, I know this clinic. . .”
Forget fantasy sports, getting vaccinated is the new fantasy.
So, when the hell did this blog get all touchy feely and poem-centric? Not really in keeping with its moniker now is it? Well, I guess since Trump has been ousted I’m just feeling a bit more calm and happy. I’ll take it for now, knowing full well it won’t last. God knows there’s enough stupidity, hatred, and. . . well, stupidity really encompasses a whole lot doesn’t it? Ahh, that feels better. Okay, so here’s a poem that turns in on itself. Hence the title. Thanks for reading, the Void can be a lonely place without likeminded people.
So, I responded to another writing prompt. I really find these helpful in giving me a good quick kick in the . . . well, let’s just say it gives me a jumping off point. The idea was to write something using the word “vista” as an inspiration or focal point and to be exactly 29 words. So, with your indulgence:
So, I was surfing around the blogosphere and found a host of creative writing sites. Many of them will give you daily or weekly “prompts “ to jump start your writing process. A word. An idea. A sentence. Something to exercise that imagination muscle and get you going. Think of it as a personal trainer, a Peloton for the mind if you will. “C’mon, you can do this! Almost there, go!!!” Being the lazy slug that I am, I need a push, so I’m trying. Writing has always been something I’ve done. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. Something tangible that I can look to and say yeah I did that. A nice turn of phrase, a piece of dialogue or description, a clever metaphor, all make me inwardly smile. Anyway, one such blog prompted its followers to write a piece, prose or poem, containing the word “element” and to make it exactly 47 words. Why 47? Why not? So here’s my take. Challenge accepted!
For a renowned Kvetch I guess I’m a big mushy boy at heart.